Love is a sickness
by Tweetiekins
Summary: Lily has never been able to stand James. James has never been able to stay away from Lily. But in seventh year, things change. And it all starts when Lily gets sick. Has James grown up enough to look after her? Chapter 4 best. xx
1. Chapter 1

Lily lay on the sofa in the Head's common room. She really didn't feel too good. All day she'd had both a stomach and head ache. Now she couldn't move without feeling a great pain pretty much all over, and she was shivering.

"Are you ok Evans? You don't look too good." James appeared in front of her. She hadn't heard him come in, probably because she was so drowsy.

"I don't feel well." Lily replied, shocked at the effort it had taken to speak.

"So I can see." James felt her head. Normally Lily would slap him for daring to touch her, but right now she couldn't care less. They had been Head Boy and Girl for two months now, but she still couldn't stand him. In all fairness, she had been avoiding him whenever possible, and for once he had let her. He seemed to have grown up to understand she wasn't interested, but she doubted he'd changed at all.

"You're boiling!" James exclaimed, bringing Lily back to the present. "I think you should go down to the hospital wing."

"No I don't want to." Lily sounded like a child, but she really hated going to the doctors from the muggle world, and doubted that a magical doctor would be any better.

"Lily, you have a fever, you're burning up. You need to go to the hospital wing." She could hear the concern in his voice, and squinted up at him.

"I'm freezing." She managed. He took of his jacket and gently laid it over her. She pulled it close.

"Ok, I'm going to get Madame Pomfrey. Are you going to be ok here on your own?"

"No."

"Ok, well, erm, I don't think you can get yourself down there. How about I carry you?"

"No."

"Well how can I get you there then? Levitate you?" James laughed, playing along with the childish game she seemed to be playing.

"I don't want to go."

"But-"

"No"

"But-"

"No!" Lily tried to shout this time. What a mistake that was. Now her throat hurt as well, and her voice became croaky.

"Seriously Evans, you're not well. I'm taking you to the hospital wing whether you like it or not."

"I don't like it. I want to go home." Lily seemed unable to control what came out of her mouth. She was saying exactly what popped into her head. But at the same time, she was vaguely aware of how silly and childish she was sounding. She would worry about that later though. Right now, she needed to get to the bathroom before she threw up on Potter.

She obviously looked unwell, because James seemed to sense she needed a bucket, and conjured one just in time. To save her embarrassment, he turned away, and walked into his bedroom.

After a few minutes, Lily looked towards his door, and realised she's scared him away. If she'd felt better she would have laughed. She should have thrown up in front of him years ago! She lay back on the sofa and closed her eyes, only to snap them open again as she heard James' bedroom door creak open.

As he walked into the room, James waved his wand and vanished the bucket and its contents, and stepped over to the sofa on which Lily lay. He was holding a bundle of blankets and pillows.

"Sorry I took so long" He whispered, "I was trying to find more blankets for you." He smiled fondly at Lily. "Ready to go see Madam Pomfrey yet?"

Slowly, Lily shook her head. She'd have to be really bad to want to see a doctor. Shivering, she pulled James' jacket around her. James looked at her thoughtfully.

"Tell you what," He exclaimed, "I'll let you keep my jacket until you feel better, if you let me take you down to the hospital wing."

Lily thought for a moment. It was very sweet of him to say that, but she really didn't like doctors. She decided to prove she didn't need to go by sitting up. What a mistake that was! Her head felt all light, the room started spinning, and she felt like she was falling.

"Whoa!" She heard James cry, as his arms wrapped around her the moment before she reached the floor. "Good job I have quick reflexes!"

Lily felt herself being lifted into the air, but had no energy to protest. Instead she leaned against James' chest, and rested her head on his shoulder. It was actually rather comfy.

"Where are we going?" She whispered, as her eyes became heavy and she snuggled further into the crook of James' neck.

"Just go to sleep." He whispered back to her, pulling her closer to him so she wouldn't fall.

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Lily moved her head slightly, burrowing further into the fluffy pillow. She'd woken up, but her eyes remain closed. Automatically, she curled her legs into a more comfortable position and made to pull her arms towards her face, but one of her hands seemed to be attached to something.

Starting, Lily sprang into a sitting position. She moved too quickly and her head spun slightly. Blinking against the light, she saw a figure sitting at the side of her bed. It was James.

By the look of it, he'd been asleep as well, and Lily jumping up had caused him to jump too. For a moment they looked at each other, both seeming a little confused.

"You're awake" Announced James, his voice raspy from sleep. Lily simply looked at him, a bemused expression across her face. What was he doing in her room?

Looking around, Lily became more aware of her surroundings, and it slowly sunk in exactly what was going on. She was in the hospital wing. And James seemed to have slept on the chair by her bed.

"You stayed here all night?" Lily asked, shocked that he would stay with her.

"You wouldn't let me go" Smiled James, nodding towards Lily's hand. It seems that it was attached to James' hand. That's what had frightened her awake.

Lily couldn't speak. She vaguely remembered James comforting her before drinking an awful potion. She didn't remember anything after that. Sighing, she looked towards James for answers.

"You don't like doctors and hospitals do you?" He asked. Lily shook her head. James continued. "You put up a bit of a fuss. Didn't want Madam Pomfrey anywhere near you. Grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. You started crying."

"Oh no!" Lily exclaimed, embarrassed that she'd been such a child in front of James.

"It's ok, the potion you were given makes people emotional apparently."

"I'm so sorry. I guess I'm more scared of doctors than I like to think." Lily said in nothing more than a whisper.

"It's ok" James repeated, smiling warmly at her. "Once I'd given you a cuddle and promised to stay, you calmed down. I stroked your hair until you fell asleep. It seemed to relax you more. You said your mum used to do it when you were little."

"Yeah she did." Croaked Lily, shocked at her behaviour, and worried about what else she may have said to him. How could she have let James Potter _cuddle_ her?

He smiled at her, and she realised that she was still holding his hand, but she still didn't let go. Even if it was James Potter, she'd prefer to have company if she was stuck in the hospital.

At that moment, Madam Pomfrey marched over, a stern look on her face. "Your awake I see." After taking a frightened Lily's temperature, she concluded, "I suppose you could go back to your room, providing you stay in bed. But you need to drink this first." She thrust a beaker into Lily's hand, and marched back to her office. She had obviously taken offence at Lily's attitude.

"It tastes horrible!" Lily cried, as she tried to drink the potion as fast as possible. She climbed out of bed, and blushed at James. She was still wearing his jacket. James stayed at her side as she walked to the door.

"Make sure you hang on to your boyfriend. He was very good to you last night, knew just how to make you happy." Madam Pomfrey's bitter voice called from inside her office.

Lily was about to correct her when James called out first. "I'm not her boyfriend."

Madam Pomfrey stepped out of her office. Know for her need to gossip, she asked "Then what exactly are you?" whilst raising one eyebrow.

James looked at Lily. He seemed unsure of what to say, so she answered for him. "He's a friend." She smiled at him. He grinned back as he walked her to the Head's common room. They seemed to have reached a new step in their complicated relationship.

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Let me know what you think! I'm thinking of adding another chapter, so let me know if you think I should! xx


	2. Chapter 2

I've written this chapter in two parts, for both Lily and James' points of view. Hope you like it. Please R&R!! xx

* * *

"Hey, thanks for looking after me the other day

"Hey, thanks for looking after me the other day."

Lily could barely look at James. When she had been unwell, thrown up in front of him, acted like a child, and admitted she wanted to be friends, she was a little delirious and couldn't quite remember exactly what had happened. It had now fully come back to her in a series of flashbacks. This meant she was way too embarrassed to look him in the eye.

"No problem" He answered, looking at the book in his lap rather than at her. Lily was thankful for this. She knew he was only doing it because he sensed her embarrassment, but was glad for it and wasn't about to stop him.

"I still have your jacket."

James closed his book and rested it on the arm of the chair he was sitting in. "That's fine, just give it back when you're done snuggling up to it." He looked up at her and grinned. Then standing up, he took a small step towards her.

"I….I don't…..I didn't….did I really?" Lily felt her self blushing as James stepped towards her. She hadn't had a flashback of snuggling a jacket.

"Yes. You wouldn't let go of my hand either." James' voice was soft and seductive. As he took yet another step towards Lily, she turned redder. Suddenly breathing was the most difficult thing in the world. She didn't understand why, but she couldn't help but stand where she was and let James move even closer towards her.

James laughed. "Don't be so embarrassed Evans. It's fine. Just give me back the jacket whenever."

Lily felt her breathing ease up. James clapped her on the shoulder. Chuckling to himself, he walked towards his bedroom.

Not knowing what was wrong with her, Lily dropped in to the chair James had just been sitting in. She must be feeling unwell still. James, no, _Potter_ had never had that effect on her before. Ever. Why did she get so flustered just now? She was definitely still unwell. Maybe she should go lie down.

As she walked past James' room towards hers, she noticed that his door was ajar. She glanced in, and saw that James seemed to be lying on his bed looking depressed. He must be unwell too.

Lying down on her bed, Lily wondered what it could be that was making her and James so ill.

* * *

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James was sitting in the most comfortable armchair in the head's common room. He had told Sirius that he wanted some peace and quiet, but in all honesty he didn't want to see anyone right now. He had a book placed in his lap. He wasn't reading it, he couldn't even remember the title. His mind was on other things.

He just couldn't stop thinking about the other day when Lily was unwell. She had refused to let go of his hand, held on tight to his jacket and told Madam Pomfrey that they were friends. It was exactly how he had imagined things would be if Lily were his girlfriend. Except for the just being friends part of course.

He had tried so hard to get Lily out of his head, to get over her. He had stopped asking her out and acting like a jerk. In front of her at least. The events of that afternoon had completely messed with his will power and denial. It had made him realise that he wasn't even close to beginning to get over Lily.

At that moment, the door to the common room swung open, revealing a very nervous looking Lily. As she came closer she spoke.

"Hey, thanks for looking after me the other day."

James could hear the embarrassment in her voice. She obviously thought she had made a mistake in letting him take care of her and regretted it. He decided not to look up. He didn't want to give away his disappointment if she said that she didn't really want to be his friend.

"No problem." Was all he could manage in response. He was concentrating too much on acting normal to say anything else. He heard her soft, sweet voice speak to him again.

"I still have your jacket."

James couldn't stand it any longer. He wouldn't give her the chance to tell him to get lost as she had done so many times in the past. He wouldn't be able to take it if she said it yet again. To give himself another second to think of a witty reply, he closed his book and put it on the arm of his chair. In that moment, the only thing he could think to do was to act like his old cocky self.

"That's fine, just give it back when you're done snuggling up to it." He grinned at her, stood up and took a step towards her, making sure he moved slowly so as not to give away that he was shaking with nerves. Did he just say the wrong thing?

"I….I don't…..I didn't….did I really?" Lily was blushing more that he had ever seen before. Taking another step towards her, he intended to comfort her, tell her it was ok, not to be embarrassed. But now he was acting like he used to he couldn't stop.

"Yes. You wouldn't let go of my hand either." He was moving slowly towards her, wanting to hold her so badly he almost imagined that she was having as hard time breathing as he was.

He knew he had to snap out of it now. He wanted to keep her as a friend if he could and acting this way would definitely ruin that. He forced himself to laugh.

"Don't be so embarrassed Evans. It's fine. Just give me back the jacket whenever." He clapped her on the shoulder, something he would do to Sirius or Remus, and walked away, nervously chuckling to hide his real feelings.

Inside his bedroom, he lay on his bed. He had to stop doing this to himself. He had to get over her. They could only ever be friends. That was all she wanted, if that, and he had to deal with it.

Trouble was, that thought made him feel so ill he could practically feel himself turn green.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, I know I only added the second chapter earlier today but I got in to writing it and am adding the third chapter now! :-) so i hope you like it, please review! much love xx

Lily was sitting quietly in the library, a stack of books surrounding her, a quill in one hand, and her head resting on the ot

Lily was sitting quietly in the library, a stack of books surrounding her, a quill in one hand, and her head resting on the other. She had two foot-long essays to write but somehow the words to write it with wouldn't come to her. This was most unlike Lily.

Trying to prevent her mind from wandering, she re-read the title of the first essay. Only after she'd read it did she realise she hadn't taken a word of it in. Beginning to read the title yet again, she heard a voice whisper her name.

"Lily, are you working, even if you are it doesn't matter. Guess what!"

Lily put her quill down, glancing guiltily at the blank parchment in front of her, and looked up at her friend Cassie, who was beaming down at her.

"What's up Cas?" Lily asked, touching on a slight tone of boredom.

"Ok, so I was in the common room, usual stuff going on, Sirius and James getting lots of attention blah blah and McGonagall waltzed in holding a big poster and taped it to the wall."

Cassie stopped for breath, so excitable she didn't notice the change in Lily's expression when she mentioned James.

"Anyway, I shoved my way to the front of the crowd to have a look, and it turns out that Dumbledore is letting the Weird Sisters do a gig for fifth, sixth and seventh years in the main hall after the Halloween feast!" Cassie finished talking, forgetting they were in the library and let out a squeal of excitement.

"Ohmygod" breathed Lily, now grinning as much as Cassie. "That's only in three days time!"

Shoving her belongings back in her bag, Lily decided to ignore the essays she needed to do. She could always do them tomorrow night. Right now she had to find something to wear for the concert.

Giggling, both the girls entered the head's common room, intending to try on clothes, gossip, and discuss which of the Weird Sisters' songs they liked best. However, when they looked around, James was lying on the sofa, his arm over his eyes. Sirius was slumped in a chair next to him.

"For the last time, NO!" Shouted James, sitting up. He noticed the girls standing in the doorway, and lay back down again, huffing.

"I don't see why not! It'll be a laugh!" Sirius begged, with a look of annoyance on his face.

"Not interrupting are we?" Asked Lily, unsure whether they should leave or go to her room.

"No. The conversation's over." Sulked James, and stormed in to his bedroom.

"What's the matter with him?" Cassie asked, more to talk to Sirius than out of concern for James.

"God knows" Sighed Sirius, dropping lower in to his chair. "He's just all boring lately, won't do anything. He says he's not going to the feast on Friday. Or the concert afterwards."

"Why not?" Questioned Lily. For some reason this information made her stomach drop.

"Beats me." Sirius moaned. "I'm out of here. Fancy a walk Cas?"

Lily wasn't surprised that Cassie and Sirius left for 'a walk'. They had been 'taking walks' every now and again for a while. Since Sirius' sixteenth birthday last year to be exact. To Lily, it was obvious they liked each other, but both were too proud to admit it.

After watching Cassie and Sirius leave together, Lily turned and stared at James' closed door. Her excitement about the concert seemed to have disappeared, to be replaced with a bubbly feeling in her stomach, something similar to nerves.

She walked towards James' door, but couldn't bring herself to knock. Dumping her bag outside her room she sat down in the common room, wondering what she would have said if she went in James' room. Pulling out a piece of parchment, she began to write to her sister Petunia, something she was doing less and less now days. Not that she ever got a reply anyway.

Half way through her letter, James' door flew open and James stomped out of his room. When he saw Lily he stopped, almost in surprise, but walked over and sat down on the other end of the sofa.

"Everything ok?" Lily timidly asked. She didn't want him to yell at her.

"Fine" James snapped, in a tone that clearly wasn't fine.

"Ok" Lily resumed writing her letter. She could feel James' eyes on her, but could also sense some kind of unease between them, so didn't want to look up.

Not being able to stand the tension, Lily broke the silence.

"Sirius says you're not going to the feast or the concert on Friday." She stated, glancing up at him from the corner of her eye.

"I don't feel like it." James turned away from her and sighed.

Discarding her letter to petunia, she pulled out another piece of parchment and scribbled a note on it.

_Want to tell me why you don't feel like going?_

She pushed the note across the table so that it was in front of James. He glanced at it and turned to face her once again.

"I take it you're going?" He asked, his eyes searching her face for something unknown to Lily.

"Why wouldn't I? It'll be fun. When else have we had a concert in school?"

James shrugged and stared at the floor. Lily looked at him, concerned. She had never seen him act this way before. She didn't like it.

"Why don't you feel like going?" She asked, trying to catch his eye.

At first, James seemed unwilling to answer. He opened and closed his mouth several times.

"I don't want to have to be Sirius' wing man." He looked stroppy.

"You don't have to be. Just hang out with Remus and Peter." Suggested Lily. She had a feeling James wasn't telling her the truth.

"You don't understand. The only way I don't have to be Sirius' wing man is if I go with someone. I don't want to go with anyone, and I don't want to be his wingman. I'm fed up of girls." He ended his rant and looked at Lily.

She stared back at him, her expression unclear. "I'll leave you alone then." She stood up and made to leave.

"No don't!" Cried James. "I didn't mean you. I'm sorry." For the first time that evening James' expression softened. He patted the sofa next to him, silently asking her to sit down.

Lily considered his request. She wanted to sit next to him. But she was confused. _Why did she want to sit next to him? _This was James she was thinking about.

At that moment it dawned on her. She couldn't concentrate on her essays because she was trying not to think about James. She was writing to Petunia less and less because of the time she was spending in the head's common room talking to James and thinking about James. She wanted him to go to the concert because she wanted to see him outside of classes and head duties.

He patted the sofa again, and gave her such a puppy-eyes look she laughed, and moved to sit down.

"I knew that would work." He smiled.

Lily's mouth was suddenly dry. How could she like James? It wasn't possible. This was _James Potter_!

"I didn't mean to snap at you. And I don't hate all girls. I like you." James spoke softly to her and flashed her a loving smile. Or did Lily just want it to be loving?

After all, he hadn't asked her out since sixth year. And he seemed to be happy with them being friends. Did he like her still? Or did Lily realise her feelings for him a little too late?

"So, the concert." His voice brought Lily back to reality. "You reckon I should go, huh?"

"Yes." Lily spoke in barely more than a whisper.

"Will you protect me from Sirius?" He spoke with a laugh.

Lily didn't know what to say. So she said nothing. Her head and her heart were having an argument inside her, and the conflict seemed to make her incapable of talk.

"I mean, will you actually talk to me or will you leave me to be forced to chat up girls all night?" James asked when she didn't reply.

The thought of James chatting up other girls, hitting on them, made Lily's insides churn. She didn't know quite what to do with her feeling at the moment, but knew she couldn't let him go out with other girls.

"Of course I'll talk to you." She smiled, praying that she looked ok. She had never wanted to look in the mirror more. Neither had she ever wanted to check her appearance because of a guy before.

"Maybe if I'm lucky I might even get a dance." James grinned, and stood up. "Thanks Evans"

Lily looked up at him. "No problem" she smiled.

He bent down and kissed her on the forehead, before turning on the spot and returning to his room.

Feeling suddenly dizzy, Lily realised what had been making her so unwell the past few weeks.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey again, three updates in the same day! I have not stopped writing today! lol enjoy.

Much love to everyone that reviewed by the way! cannot stop smiling because of you lovely people! xxxxxxxx

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It was Halloween. Lily was sitting on her bed, with Cassie, a make up bag, and mirror in front of her. The traditional feast had come and gone, and Lily, along with the majority of the girls in fifth, sixth and seventh years, had hardly eaten anything. Lily, however, had not eaten because she was too nervous. Not that she had told anyone this, she was quite happy to have people believe that she didn't want to be bloated for the concert like all the other girls.

With half an hour to go before the concert, Lily and Cassie had already showered, and done their hair, and were now applying the final touches to their make-up before getting dressed. Lily had applied Cassie's make-up first, and Cassie was now returning the favour.

"I love these kinds of things just for girlie times like this to get ready." Cassie exclaimed, smiling at Lily.

"Yeah" Lily replied. She was scared that if she said anything more she would blurt out the funny feelings she had been having for James lately, and she had sworn herself to secrecy. Also, Cassie would yell at her for not staying still.

"Done" Grinned Cassie. "Let's get dressed. We don't want to be late."

Lily pulled on her brown floaty dress, slipped on her gold sparkly shoes, and placed a delicate gold bracelet on her wrist and her mother's ring on her finger. She looked at herself in the mirror. Not too bad, if she did think so herself. Her auburn wavy hair complimented the dress perfectly, and her shoes made her tall and elegant.

"wow" Grinned Cassie, "you look amazing!"

"Don't sound too shocked." Lily laughed, "You look fantastic too. Planning a walk with Sirius tonight?"

"Honey, I am planning more than a walk tonight, if you know what I mean." Cassie winked mischievously at Lily, before heading towards the door. "By the way, I said we'd meet Sirius, James, Remus and Peter in the entrance hall before we go in."

"What? Why?" Lily began to panic. She wanted James to walk up to her. She might fall over if she had to walk to him!

"Because they're our friends? Are you feeling ok Lily?" Cassie gave her friend a concerned look. "You know, now I think about it, you haven't been yourself this week. What's up?" Cassie turned away from the door towards Lily.

"I…nothing. It's nothing." Said Lily, her voice higher than usual.

"Ok, just try to have a good time tonight. I'm sure you'll feel ok when we start having fun." Cassie smiled reassuringly at Lily.

That was the great thing about Cassie. Lily had a feeling she knew about James, but would never say anything. Cassie was too proud to talk about her emotions, so understood when other people didn't want to talk about theirs.

As they approached the steps to the entrance hall, Lily searched the crowd nervously for James. She couldn't see him.

"Hi" Said a soft voice in her ear, and something touched her hand. Shocked, she turned on the spot and came face to face with James himself. They were so close she could do nothing but stare in to his eyes, and he stared back in to hers. Her stomach was doing backflips.

"Hi" She whispered. She was trying to stop herself shaking.

"We ready then girls?" Asked Sirius, seemingly oblivious to anything other than Cassie's short black dress.

"We are." Grinned Cassie, winking at Lily.

Lily couldn't help but smile. After greeting Remus and Peter, she looked back at James. Smiling at her, he held out his arm to escort her down the stairs. If Lily hadn't known better, she would have thought they were on a date.

Entering the main hall, they could not help but look around in awe. The four house tables had disappeared, to be replaced by a small number of circular tables at the back of the room. The teacher's table had also been removed, and was now being used as the stage, on which the Weird Sisters were setting up their equipment and waving to the students gathered around the stage.

When Lily looked around, Sirius and Cassie were pushing themselves to the front of the stage. Remus and Peter had disappeared from sight. It was just her and James.

He grabbed her hand. "Come on" he grinned at her, and her heart skipped a beat. He led her towards a table near the back which had a spread of food and drinks. Picking up two butterbeers, handed one to Lily and took a large swig out of his own bottle. Lily sipped hers nervously, more for something to do than because she was thirsty.

When the band started, James looked around. Lily looked over, to see most of the people in the room over by the band dancing. Butterflies in her stomach, she went to take another sip of her butterbeer to find she had drunk it already. She put the bottle down and looked back at the stage, determined to look anywhere but at James.

Before she knew it, James had grabbed her hand and was leading her towards the dance floor.

"No….James….I can't….." She struggled to free her hand.

"Sure you can" James turned and grinned playfully at her. She pulled her hand free and looked at him. She was worried about making a fool of herself in front of James, and dancing was the perfect opportunity for that. She needed more drink if she was going to dance.

James sensed her nervousness. He stepped towards her and smiled down at her. "Evans, how can you come to a concert and not dance?" He chuckled. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the forehead before leading her to the dance floor once again.

Lily found herself dancing in a circle with Cassie, Sirius, Remus, Peter, a couple of other girls in their year, and of course James.

Sirius and Cassie were dancing so closely and provocatively that on several occasions Professor McGonagall came over and separated them.

Lily soon became more relaxed as Cassie handed her a fourth butterbeer, and loosened up a little on the dance floor. James seemed to be enjoying himself a great deal too. He held Lily's hand and twirled her, separating them from the rest of the group.

Dancing just the two of them, holding one another's hands, Lily became nervous again, but made sure she kept a smile on her face. What was it about James that made her stomach act so jumpy?

After another song, the music slowed down, and the band began to play a love song Lily had never heard before.

Her heart began to pound, and she expected James to let go of her hands. She prepared herself for the awkward moment when they walked away from the dance floor, watching everyone else dance while they sat in silence.

Instead, James held her hands tighter and pulled her close. She looked up at him, and felt as if she had never seen him before. His eyes gazed down at her, a soft smile on his lips as they swayed with the slow music.

"James, we can't dance to this song! We're not a couple, we're only friends!" Lily had noticed that only real couples were left on the dance floor, Sirius and Cassie included. She wasn't sure she was ready for this.

"Who ever said friends cant dance with each other?" James whispered in her ear, and slid his hand on to her waist.

Lily knew they were dancing closer than friends should. His hand was wrapped around her waist, her head resting on his shoulder, her hand on his neck.

But she didn't stop herself from dancing with him. Her nerves had faded away completely as she let the music flow through her, let her body sway in time with James'.

Several times during the song he kissed her on the forehead. Each time she looked up at him, expecting him to kiss her. But he didn't. Instead he smiled down at her, pulled her close and leant his head on hers.

At one point, Lily glimpsed Cassie and Sirius, whispering while they danced and grinning in the direction of herself and James, but she didn't care. She was happy. She didn't want the song to end.

Unfortunately it did. James wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. He sighed.

Lily looked up at him, and looked in to his eyes.

Staring straight back at her, he whispered "Take a walk with me."

Lily nodded as he took her hand and slowly led her outside.

James led her to a bench, secluded by shrubs and bushes, obviously meant for private moments.

They sat down, his hand still wrapped around hers. He held it up to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

Lily felt her breathing become harder. She knew this was the moment something was going to happen. Did she really want something to happen with James Potter? Or should she walk away?

"Lily" He whispered.

She looked up at him, and knew the answer immediately.

"You've only ever called me that when I was ill." She whispered back. She didn't know if she was shivering with cold or shaking with nerves. Probably both.

"I know" He shuffled in his seat, so that his whole body was facing her. Lily automatically done the same. She stared at their hands, their fingers intertwined.

"Lily, I'm really sorry. I can't do this." James' words were like a knife. Lily felt her heart and her stomach drop. "I can't be just friends with you any more."

Lily looked up at him. His eyes glistened, but it may have just been the moonlight. Before she could reply he spoke again.

"I'm sorry I've pretended, but I can't pretend to be just your friend. It's too much for me, I'll always want more." He was whispering, his voice shaking.

"James…" Lily couldn't speak in anything more than a whisper herself.

"Just listen for a minute, Lily. When we were dancing just now, I was happier than I've ever been. I didn't want to come tonight because I didn't want to see you dancing with anyone else. But you haven't even tried to dance with anyone else." He was looking in to her eyes now, years of longing blazing from them.

"I tried to give up on you but I just couldn't. So please tell me now. Should I wait for you to feel the same way? Or is it completely hopeless for me?"

His look showed no sign of the happiness that was in his eyes earlier that night. He was waiting for an answer. Lily could either lie to herself forever, as she had tried to do for the past weeks, and break his heart. Or she could get over her pride, and admit her feelings, and be happy. There was nothing in it.

"You shouldn't give up." She whispered, gazing in to his eyes. She had butterflies in her stomach but she didn't care. He looked back at her, confusion spread across his face. He obviously wasn't expecting that answer.

"I shouldn't?" He looked almost hurt.

"No. But you don't have to wait either." Lily felt the edges of her lips curl in to the smallest of smiles. James still looked confused.

"I….what? I don't understand….." James voice trailed away, as slow comprehension dawned on his face. His mouth fell open. He seemed to find it difficult to breathe too.

Lily leaned towards him and places a small kiss on the very edge of his mouth.

As she pulled away, she felt his hand on the back of her neck, his other hand on the small of her back, pressing her towards him. He kissed her slowly but passionately. His mouth was opening hers, and she let the sweet taste of his tongue press against her own. She had never been kissed this way, and was sure he had never kissed anyone this way before.

Time slipped by, their kiss becoming more passionate, James' hands running through Lily's hair, her hands stroking the back of his neck and his hair.

James smiled, still kissing her. Lily couldn't help but smile too, and their lips broke apart.

James rested his forehead on Lily's a grin slowing making its way across his face.

"Wow" he whispered. Lily could do nothing but grin back at him. "I really wanted to kiss you when we were dancing."

"Why didn't you?" She asked. At the time she had expected him to.

James laughed "Because everyone we knew was there! Including teachers!" He placed a small, gentle kiss on her lips. "I wanted our first kiss to be between us. Just us."

Lily felt as if she could not smile enough. She glanced towards the school. They could still hear the faint music coming from the main hall.

"You look so beautiful tonight." She realised he had not taken his eyes off of her, even for a moment.

"Thank you" She blushed.

She leaned towards him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I have something for you" He whispered. "It was supposed to be for Christmas. Can I give it to you now?"

Lily sat up and turned to James. He had a cheeky grin on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

"Come on, it's upstairs." He pulled her up before she could respond, and led the way back to the school.

At the top of the stairs leading from the main hall, he let go of her hand. He wrapped his arm around her waist and leant gently on her head as they strolled through the corridors to the head dormitories.

Inside the common room, Lily gasped. It had not looked like this when she left earlier. There were candles everywhere, rose petals on the floor and Sirius and Cassie standing grinning in the middle of the room.

"What on earth….?" James' mouth fell open. Lily could not hide her shocked expression.

"Thought we'd make it a little more…….romantic, mate." Said Sirius with a wink, before grabbing Cassie's hand and dragging her out the room.

When they had left, James turned to Lily.

"I am so so sorry." Lily's confused expression made him hide a smile. "You're so cute. Lily, he thinks we're going to…you know….do what they're about to do."

"What!" Lily gasped. She had not been expecting this.

"Its ok….I wasn't planning…..we don't…..we're not….." James looked so worried that Lily could not help but laugh.

"It's ok James. Stop worrying. I'm not going to storm out."

"You're sure? I honestly did not plan this, I promise……. This was not what I wanted to give you!"

Lily could not help but laugh. She had not laughed like this in a while. "It's ok, I believe you."

He smiled with relief and pulled her in to a hug. Taking her hand he led her to the sofa and sat her down.

"Wait here" He smiled at her.

Sitting alone in the candlelit common room, Lily thought about what had just happened. She couldn't help but smile. If only she had seen James in this light years ago, she would have already had such happy memories for more than an evening.

"Close your eyes" James called from his bedroom doorway, his hands behind his back.

Lily obeyed, and heard James' gentle footsteps creep nearer. Excitement was pulsing through her.

She felt James kneeling in front of her. "Open your eyes" He whispered.

He was holding a black gift box out to her. "I hope you like it" His soft voice barely reached her ears.

Lily timidly reached out a hand and took the box. She lifted the lid, and gasped.

Inside was a gold necklace. A heart shaped pendent swung on the end of it as she lifted it up. It was beautiful. Modest but elegant, it suited her perfectly.

"Oh my goodness. James….I….." She looked from the necklace to his smiling face. She could see that he was so pleased with himself for giving her such a perfect gift.

Without saying a word, he took the necklace from her hands, walked behind her and placed the necklace around her neck. As he brushed her hair out of the way, Lily felt a wave of pleasure sweep through her.

James moved back around to face Lily. Once again he kneeled in front of her,

a more serious look on his face this time. His breathing was deep and heavy. Leaning up, he kissed her softly. He moved to sit beside her on the sofa.

"James, this necklace…..its beautiful…..you really shouldn't have."

James looked at her. She couldn't read his expression. "I wanted to. I wanted to prove something to you. You never seemed to believe me before."

"What's that? What didn't I believe?" Lily almost knew the answer.

"I love you Lily. I always have done, from the first moment I saw you." He reached out a hand a pushed her hair away from her face. "I love you."

Lily leaned in to his hand and held it with her own. "I love you too James."

She smiled as he leaned in and kissed her more passionately than before. She had known for a while now. It was what made her unwell for the past few weeks. She loved him. Lily Evans was in love with James Potter. And she felt much better now.

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Finito! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Lots of love to all the wonderful people who reviewed! xxxxxxx

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